Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize