Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
