literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
