Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
