i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I AM VODKA MAN
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
