Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize