The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Randomize