remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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