Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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