Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
