There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
