:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
