I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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