You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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