I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
