is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
