She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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