You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
