Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
