wakey wakey hands off snakey
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
