I'm really into asian looking animals
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
