apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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