I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
