i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
