You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
