alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I am one with the molecules
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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