I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
