It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize