Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
