well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
