I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
