rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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