our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
