A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
