After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
