It was confusing and full of hummus
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
