"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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