someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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