Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The Olympian is in my bed
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
