She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
