So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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