I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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