fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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