I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
