mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you win again, gameday.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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