This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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