If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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