her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
