Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
