I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
