you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
