I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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