do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He passed out mid-signature
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
