His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
