I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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