kristin has been a bad kristin
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
