you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
