the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
