k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
