How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
