I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
