all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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