Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize