I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
she smelled like a LAN party
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize