just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
