i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
