yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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