Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
