I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
