She's like a pop up book from hell.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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