I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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