Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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