I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
