I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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